Messing with Charlie
by Jenni N
Summary: Charlie's dreaming about a dream about him dreaming a dream...or is it a nightmare? Meh, find out. Can't reveal much here.
1. Nightmares of Dresses and Men and Boys

Charlie woke up to the fresh early morning spring air…the only thing that sucks about the morning was that he had to end up waking on a beautiful morning at Bloor's Academy…tragic, huh?

"Morning Charlie, wake up," Matron said, shaking him by the shoulders.

Charlie groaned as he heard Matron's voice. Matron said, "Why the groaning there love?"

Charlie sat up straight, digging his finger into his ears to see if they were correct. Did his great aunt call him 'love'? His ev-ebil great aunt?

"Now don't just sit there child, go and wash up before you come down to breakfast my dear Charlie," Matron said lovely. "Come on, up you go!"

Charlie, shocked to see a pleasant faced Matron, stood up and hurried to the sink, still not taking his eyes off of Matron.

"Am I dreaming?" asked Charlie hoarsely.

Matron was set off making Charlie's bed while humming a cheery tune. When she was done, she looked up at her great nephew and smiled wider. "Oh dear, who hasn't washed up? I wonder who…"

Charlie quickly splashed some water on his face and looked back. Matron waved with her finders, still smiling.

"I know I'm dreaming…unless if they're trying to get to me! Know my weakness; know my strategy…well not this time!"

"And your teeth?" Matron called, waking the other boys up.

Fidelio smirked but quickly hid it when Charlie turned to glare. Gabriel looked at Matron and at her happy face with awe. "You're…you're…nice!" Gabriel blurted. Then he said, "But then it could be a trap…Charlie, what's going on here?"

"I don't know." Charlie said, unzipping a zipper to his backpack to get his toothbrush. "Don't let her get to you." He mouthed to Fidelio and Gabriel when Matron turned to look at the other boys.

"Well, don't just sit there, wash up, we have a long day ahead of us!"

Gabriel and Fidelio shared a smile. Charlie stood back up and to the bathroom again, suspecting something.

Matron patted a boy with curly red hair, ("Get off me!") and helped a boy with brown hair out of bed ("I don't need your help ma'am!").

Charlie shivered in the drafty bathroom, waiting to be woken up but everything felt too real. He knew that in dreams, you don't think as well as you normally do, you feel 99% percent dumber than usual. Now, he's fully aware of EVERYTHING. That was odd, first dream he has ever been in that will let you feel everything that is so real.

He brushed his teeth, facing the dorm while everyone was grumbling and stretching or plopping back down again.

"Hurry up! Eighteen minutes left for breakfast you know," Matron said seriously.

"We'll go if Bone gets out of the bathroom," snarled the curly red haired boy.

Matron leaned over and slapped him hard. "Don't you talk about my great nephew like that!"

Charlie turned around to watch but he didn't see that the red haired boy flinched before he was slapped.

"Okay, okay, I'll back off!"

_**A few minutes later…**_

__At breakfast (or at least, on the way to breakfast) Manfred greeted Charlie happily. "Hello Charlie, lovely day isn't it?"

Charlie stopped. "Um…yeah…nice day for…oh look, a penny!" Charlie ran all the way to the cafeteria as quickly as he could.

Manfred (to Charlie's disbelief and horror) ran after him, shouting, "A penny? WHERE?!"

Charlie passed the doors to the cafeteria, ignoring the strange looks he received. He went up the stairs and around the corridor three times and down again, not looking back for it might slow him down, as he seen many times happens in TV, and then they trip and fall.

Charlie ran to through the aisle and plopped down next to Fidelio who was poking his bacon with disgust. "You want my bacon?" asked Fidelio, pushing his tray to Charlie who was panting and sweating.

"Sure, I need something to-AHHH!"

Dr. Bloor, who leaned over so far that his head was almost resting on Charlie's right shoulder, grinned. "Morning Charlie!"

"Ahhh! I didn't do it, I swear!" Charlie blurted, thinking about what Tancred had done now.

"You didn't get seventy A+'s on your report card? Well you don't have to be modest!" Dr. Bloor said, smiling.

"You want something from me, don't you?" Charlie asked in a shivering voice as Fidelio made a fist just in case he will have to perform the punch.

"No, do you want some chocolate?" asked Dr. Bloor, offering a huge chunk. Charlie remembered the 'Chocolate Incident' so he refused to eat any chocolate.

"How about some advice? I see a very pretty girl over there who seems to have her eyes on you…" Dr. Bloor said, jerking his head back.

"Who?" asked Charlie, hoping that Dr. Bloor hasn't already found his weakness (Olivia).

"Veronica," Dr. Bloor said in a purr.

As on cue, a very fat, pudgy girl stood up and walked to Dr. Bloor, smiling. She wore a purple cape and her purple bushy hair went down to her shoulder. She had ketchup on her right cheek and mustard on her left, Charlie could've sworn she had a mole on her neck.

"Hi, I'm Veronica!" The girl's voice boomed.

Charlie practically flew off his seat but Dr. Bloor caught him and whispered, "Here's your chance, say you like hot dogs and you can get her talking forever! Good luck kisser-man." He gave Charlie a last pat and walked off to the staff table.

Veronica eyed Charlie and said in her version of a purr, "Ooh, I got myself a bad boy. grrr…" She purred and Charlie flinched as Fidelio tried to hold back a laugh.

Gabriel was snickering and Billy was red from laughter.

Charlie scooted back as far away as he can. Veronica then purred, "Come one, _bad boy_, what are you planning Saturday night, hmm?"

"Sorry but I'm not single!" Charlie gasped out. He felt like puking instantly.

"Of course you're not single, you have me!" Veronica said with glee.

"I don't even like you!" Charlie blurted out.

Veronica stopped. _Oh great, I made her so mad she can't even talk! _Charlie thought wearily.

Veronica laughed. "Oh Charlie, you're such a joker!"

Charlie looked at Fidelio for help. "Help," Charlie said weakly.

Fidelio nodded. "Hey, Veronica, Charlie says he would LOVE to go out with you Saturday night!" Veronica jumped with glee as Charlie gave a piercing glare at his friend. "No problem, good luck!" Fidelio whispered, giving Charlie two pats on the back.

_**Break Time…**_

__Charlie sat with Billy under a tree, looking quite gloomy. "What's wrong?" asked Billy, looking sideways at Charlie who sighed.

"You know what's wrong…" Charlie grunted.

"Veronica?" said Billy.

"Yeah, stupid, ugly, fat Veronica…" Charlie said.

"Charlie…" Billy said, looking up. "Charlie…"

"She's so annoying! She's so…naïve! She's really hideous too!" Charlie said louder.

Billy scooted backwards uncomfortably. "Charlie…"

"She's always by my side; she sneaks about thirty dozen love letters to me! She kissed them all too!" Charlie continued on feeling disgusted. "I feel so disgusted, I want to puke! She takes everything as a joke, I hate her!"

"Charlie!" Billy said loudly. "Look up!"

Charlie turned and looked up, feeling ashamed. "How much have you heard?"

"Oh, everything," Veronica said stiffly.

Charlie looked down. "Sorry," he muttered.

"You don't' sound sorry!" Veronica snapped.

"Fine, _sorry_.Is that any better?" asked Charlie icily.

"What do you have to say for yourself, hot stuff?" asked Veronica, softening.

Charlie felt like he was going to burst. "I'M NOT YOUR FREAKING BOYFRIEND! You're just an immature brat who is SOOOO fat and so naïve! YOU DON'T TAKE ANYTHING SEROUOSLY! You probably think you have and get everything in the world but _no_, you have to go and get Charlie Bone too! Well guess what? CHARLIE BONE HATES YOU!" Burn…That was harsh.

Charlie was panting now, his insides felt hot with rage and he seemed blind. His heart stopped when he heard a new voice.

"Is that what you think of me?" asked Olivia in a sorrowful voice.

Charlie looked up. "No, not you, some other-"

"You hate me!" Olivia cried.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no! I don't, I don't! I don't hate you, shhh… Please don't cry, no, no, no, no…I don't hate you, I don't, I swear!" Charlie rushed out.

Olivia shook her head and turned away, dropping to the floor with her head tucked in between her arms.

"Livvy, don't be this way…" Charlie pleaded. Billy looked at Charlie with wonder.

As Charlie kneeled over Olivia, Olivia jumped up yelling, "HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!"

"But it's not the first!" Charlie yelled, feeling that rage in him again.

"Exactly!" Olivia laughed. "Thanks Veronica!"

Charlie expected a fat person stepping out from behind the tree but instead a beautiful girl with long brown hair walked out. She was lean and tall, she had make-up on and in her right hand she clutched a costume.

"But…but…it looked so real!" Charlie exclaimed.

"The wonder of movie magic." Veronica said in a soft voice, smiling as her eye twinkled.

Charlie looked over to Olivia but he found a very overweighed Olivia, eating a bar of chocolate saying, "She's right you know,"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Charlie screamed, sitting straight up. He found himself in his own bedroom on Filbert Street, number nine.

"Oh! That's right, that was a dream! I am so stupid…it's the weekends!" Charlie said, relieved.

He looked over to his left.

"Hello handsome," A fat Veronica purred in her deep voice while laying next to Charlie on his bed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Charlie sat up again, waking up on the living room couch. "I dreamt again…or was I dreaming a dream?"

He looked at himself with horror. He had grown at least three feet more! "Sweetie, time for Charlie Junior to take a bath!" A voice called from the kitchen.

Charlie turned to face Olivia who was dressed in a robe. No, she is not fat, but yes, her teeth were yellow and crooked, she has several wrinkles on her face and she held an overgrown toddler in her arms who was sucking in his thumb. Olivia brushed back her yellow hair that was falling.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Charlie screamed again, not daring to sit up.

He opened his eyes. The sun blinded him as they passed through the windows of Bloor's Academy…but the room was very fancy…

"Sugar bear, time to wake up!" called a deep voice.

"Please, not Veronica!" Charlie gasped, trying to hide himself under the covers.

He didn't get under fast enough. He saw something so horrible, so…so…impossible; he threw up (or at least, thought he threw up).

"You're up now? Good, are you up for some…bed time under the covers?" cooed Manfred, dressed in a petite light pink night gown that is three inches above the knees.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Charlie yelled, shouted, screamed, bellowed, and screeched, you name it.

He awoke on the floor gasping for breath. He was relieved that he saw his friends surrounding him with happy faces…laughing. Why are they laughing?

He then spotted Aldric (a character from 'The Expelled' in my stories) grinning.

"You! You're the one who made my nightmares!" Charlie bellowed, pointing to a guilty faced Aldric.

"I _am _a nightmare illusionist." Aldric said innocently.

"Why wasn't it an illusion? Isn't that supposed to work when you're awake?" asked Charlie, getting up. "Why did it feel so real?"

"My powers are getting stronger, I felt them getting stronger and I have to test it out to see if it is true." Aldric said, shrugging.

"Don't do it again." Charlie muttered.

"Do it again, okay, as you wish!" Aldric said happily.

"No, no, NO!" Charlie yelled. Too late.

Charlie closed his eyes when he felt wind rushing around him. He opened his eyes later and saw Ezekiel sitting in front of him in a light blue dress. "Ready on our date dear?" asked Ezekiel in a croaky voice.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


	2. The Next Chapter

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" was what Aldric and the others heard Charlie yell as he lay at the floor, asleep.

The girls giggled as the boys chuckled.

"Oooh! Try a pig!" Olivia suggested eagerly.

Everyone laughed as Aldric closed his mind and eyes and the screaming stopped. "Aw….I wanted to her a scream." Tancred said, disappointed.

He spoke too soon. "_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_" Charlie screamed louder than ever.

"Wow, the pig must be really ugly!" Gabriel laughed, stroking a gerbil.

As Charlie's friends laughed on, he dreamt on, and it wasn't satisfying. Charlie was walking through the crowded school, looking and feeling relieved that everything was normal around here…until he turned around the corner and something abnormal was taking place. Everyone was wearing green wigs.

"What the…" Charlie muttered, looking around bewildered.

Then he turned again and saw (to his horror) that everyone there got even more abnormal! They were all wearing light blue silky nightgowns that go to their knees! Even the boys were wearing them! Charlie realized that the boys were wearing high heels while the girls wear flats.

The next corner he saw the TEACHERS (including the men teachers) were wearing a hot pink night gown that went to the knees, no straps, pink high heels, make-up, and fishnets on their legs. Charlie shuddered in horror as it was totally disturbing. (If you still don't understand why, imagine YOUR teachers (including the guys) wearing hot pink nightgowns that go down to their knees wearing make-up and fishnets in school…in PUBLIC! Case closed.)

Charlie closed his eyes as he backed up, not caring if he bumped into something. What he didn't expect is that he bumped into Mr. Paltry who was wearing what everyone was wearing. He was smiling crookedly.

"How are you Bone?" he wheezed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Charlie screamed in terror.

He broke in a run, trying to get away from the horrible clothes the teachers were wearing.

"Teachers…" he panted "should not EVER wear…" He kept on running. "NEVER EVER wear awesome clothes!" He turned a corner. "They're not _**cool**_ enough!"


	3. The Third Chapter of Nightmares

Aldric and the others were laughing as Charlie squirmed around.

Olivia said eagerly, "Oooh! I got one! Make him…BALD!!!!

Aldric smiled and everyone looked at Charlie, waiting what will happen next…

Charlie then got a blurry vision. His eyes were fogging up. He wondered what horrible thing his friends are planning now.

All of the sudden he was falling into a scene. He was thrown into a desk at school.

He looked around, watching everyone watching him in awe. "What now?" he asked wearily, bracing for the worst.

Billy and Fidelio were snickering and the class just pointed at his head. Charlie felt a draft up there, at his head.

He slowly reached up, thoughts of horror swimming in his head. Then, when he felt his head, his horror thoughts were definitely outmatched, or in his words, outhaired…

He was bald!!!!

No! Not his unruly hair! He looked unmanly without his hair!!! His pretty, chick magnet, black, messy hair!!!!

But then again…he doesn't have to wait for his hair to dry every again, or wash it! But then his sweat will fall easier now…but then again…

Olivia looked at the real Charlie; he wasn't really flinching in horror. Olivia thought heavily. "What about this…" She whispered into Aldric's ear…

Charlie was dropped into another scene. His mother was sitting right next to him. He found himself sitting in one of those stages where doctors do operations and people are up high in the viewing room.

Charlie's fear crept into him, what was it this time?

"Mom, what am I doing?" he asked in a quivering voice.

Mrs. Bone said, "You're donating a kidney, a lung, and a finger to your Grandmother, Grandma Bone."

Charlie had two things to worry about, one, surgery, and two, his body parts are going to be attached to his horrible grandmother…hey, you would scream too.

"And that's not all; in return, she's giving you BOTH of her breasts! Isn't that great?!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Charlie yelled, he kicked, punched, desperate to get away from the room.

Olivia looked at the real Charlie and smiled. "Much better, okay, you can wake him up now."


End file.
